If cancer doesn't kill you, the army will.

You start coughing blood and experiencing chest pains on a regular basis. You go see a doctor and he says you most likely have lung cancer. They do surgery on you to open up your chest. Instead of finding cancer-looking things they find a tree.

Better believe it, don't inhale too much oxygen when you're training in the woods. You never know what you're dealing with. Enemies could be ambushing you or some seed could own you.

To all those who are going to the army because your country forces you to, good luck my friends.